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Fast & Furious (2009)
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We had Schlock HQ would like to thank you, listener, for staying with us during the tumultuous period of this experiment in watching an entire series of movies. We know better than anyone the real struggle of getting through the first half of this franchise, and with this webipod we'll complete the first half of a difficult journey that will -- eventually -- lead to us deciding not to do this kind of thing anymore, we promise.
But in the meantime, here's the most-forgettable F&F yet, a movie so bland that it appears to have been named by someone who was on Ambien and only trying to say the name of the first film in the franchise. At least they managed to lure Vin Diesel back into the series, as he and Paul Walker -- whose character arc has improbably brought him from from local cop to wanted fugitive and now, somehow, to FBI agent -- try to track down the drug smuggler who killed Michelle Rodriguez.
That's right, they killed off Letty! And also this movie apparently takes place before the third one! Look, none of it makes sense, and I'm not going to apologize for that. We don't make the movies, we just watch them. And I promise this will all pay off when we get to the good ones. Which will happen any time now.
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