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American Idol -- now in its last season after fifteen years of slow, inexorable decline -- was kind of a big deal in its first season. The winner that year was Kelly Clarkson, arguably the only American Idol contestant to achieve lasting non-niche success in the music industry (sorry, William Hung). As a reward, she and runner-up/Sideshow Bob lookalike Justin Guarini landed starring roles in what the Razzies would later declare the "worst musical in our first 25 years". Although Clarkson recently confirmed rumors that she had once denied -- that she and Guarini were, in fact, locked in the throes of white-hot passion at the time -- you don't see any of that raw sexual attraction on the screen. If anything, the leads seem bored with each other and this entire process. Oh, and by the way it's a musical about text messaging, because that's what all you kids are into. This film is the purest representation you'll find of what middle-aged white guys think teenagers wanted in the early 2000s.