Destiny Turns on the Radio (1995)

January 2nd, 2015

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We're always harping on about how much we love Quentin Tarantino like he's God's gift or whatever, so we thought it would be a good idea to watch the movie that represents the nadir of Tarantino-fatigue. You couldn't escape the fast-talking prominent-chin-having goofball's frequent interviews in the months after Pulp Fiction, and then suddenly he's playing a character named "Johnny Destiny" in this -- one of the all-too-many Pulp Ficiton clones that were popping up left and right back then -- plus he did Four Rooms which kind of sucked, and as a people we agreed to just ignore him and hope he would go away. (He did not, and we came around.) Long story short, now we have to watch a shitty Pulp Fiction clone, but hey, at least it prominently features the director of Pulp Fiction, unlike some 1995 films. I'm looking at you, 2 Days in the Valley.

Coming Soon: Destiny Turns on the Radio (1995)

December 26th, 2014

Southern Comfort (1981)

December 19th, 2014

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We're going into this one blind; it made the list only because it was one of those movies that left a hazy impression on Chris at a young age, and he never got to see the ending. We're familiar with much of the cast and crew: it's directed by Walter Hill who brought us Crossroads (not the one with Britney Spears), and it features Fred Ward from Remo Williams: The Adventure Begins and Lewis Smith from The Heavenly Kid, giving it a Search For Schlock Score of at least 3 and strongly suggesting that we've seen too many movies. In any case, there's reason to be cautiously optimistic. It's Deliverance in the bayou, y'all! So, just with a lot of people talking about how much they love gumbo.

Coming Soon: Southern Comfort (1981)

December 12th, 2014

Rad (1986)

December 5th, 2014

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We have two criteria for any movie we select for Search for Schlock. One, that it be directed by Hal Needham, who brought us some of our favorite movies about illegal coast-to-coast racing. And two, that it be about BMX bikes, which, as you know, is what we're all about. Rad is a perfect example of exactly what we're looking for, plus it features Adrian from Rocky, your favorite Martian, and Uncle Jesse's girlfriend. Will Cru realize his dreams of owning a Corvette by beating an anonymously evil pro-biker at Helltrack -- or will the race's duplicitous financiers succeed in sabotaging Cru's one shot at fame and fortune? Find out in...Rad.

Coming Soon: Rad (1986)

November 28th, 2014

Rhinestone (1984)

November 21st, 2014

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What better way to follow up the sublime terribleness of Cobra than with 80s megastar Sylvester Stallone's infamous country music romantic comedy? No better way, that's what. Stallone eschewed starring roles in both Romancing the Stone and Beverly Hills Cop to co-star with country queen Dolly Parton in this, arguably the most reviled flop in his hilariously flop-filled career. But you can't go wrong with the premise: it's basically She's All That, except she's Sylvester Stallone, and instead of making him the prom queen or whatever, the goal is to make him a passable country-western singer. And instead of money on the line, it's whether Dolly Parton has to have sex with her manager. It's not really much like She's All That.

Coming Soon: Rhinestone (1984)

November 14th, 2014

My Science Project (1985)

November 7th, 2014

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Yet again do we all pay for Chris's nostalgic love of 80s movies starring Fisher Stevens. In this one, Fisher sports a goofy Brooklyn accent, so it's not as offensive. In this one, some high school kids find the discarded power source from a UFO, which the U.S. government apparently left in a junkyard and didn't bother to study or whatever. So naturally they hook it up to a car battery, and cause a time warp that threatens all of reality. And that's it, really. Rick Baker is involved, so parts of it look good, at least (including an impressive-for-1985 dinosaur sequence), and there's a tongue-in-cheek Dennis Hopper role. What can I say? Chris has bad taste in movies.

Coming Soon: My Science Project (1985)

October 31st, 2014