Cobra (1986)

October 24th, 2014

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Cobra is the story of Los Angeles police officer Marion Cobretti and his one-man, several-automatic-weapon war on a cult of murderers led by the Night Slasher (played by that guy from X-Files with the face). So you can see why we knew we'd love it. American auteur Sylvester Stallone wrote and starred, but inexplicably did not direct; SFS favorites Golan and Globus produced, god bless 'em. This is the kind of movie that played right to every Reagan voter's base assumptions about rampant crime and the appropriately deadly response necessary -- we're talking almost Death Wish 3 levels of anarchy and vigilantism. (I may have mentioned that we love Golan-Globus.) Much of Cobra came from Stallone's idea of what Beverly Hills Cop should have been like, so maybe he's not as smart as we think he is.

Coming Soon: Cobra (1986)

October 17th, 2014

The Sword and the Sorcerer (1982)

October 10th, 2014

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We've seen Brain Smasher...A Love Story and we've seen Captain America, but we decided to give director Albert Pyun one more chance anyway and watch what is perhaps Pyun's most well-regarded film. (Sorry, Alien from L.A.) This one is a fantasy epic about a guy with a sword that's really three swords, and it shoots swords out of it. It's every bit as awesome as I just made it sound. Also along for the ride is Bull from Night Court and Frank Fontana from Murphy Brown, or as we call them, "The Dream Team."

Coming Soon: The Sword and the Sorcerer (1982)

October 3rd, 2014

Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001)

September 26th, 2014

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Longtime listeners know that the all-powerful Omegahedron has good sides as well as bad, and that occasionally we watch movies that don't suck. This is one of those times, particularly because Andrew has been trying to get Chris to watch Hedwig for years, and the only way to make Chris watch any movie is coercion. That's not to say Hedwig is an inappropriate choice; even more than a decade after its release and in the wake of a Broadway revival starring Doogie Howser, Hedwig enjoys only cult-level popularity and continues to drift below the general pop-cultural radar, in spite of being excellent in just about every way that matters. Well, you're not going to get mainstream acceptance by casting Michael Pitt, I guess.

Coming Soon: Hedwig and the Angry Inch (2001)

September 19th, 2014

Dondi (1961)

September 12th, 2014

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Based on a comic strip that was published for three decades but that you've somehow never heard of, Dondi is the story of an adorable orphan boy (David Kory, a child actor so bad that nobody even seems to have done a 'where are they now' piece on him) who gets adopted by a philandering American G.I. (world-weary Fugitive star David Janssen, looking miserable as ever in this upbeat role). There's a federal law that all descriptions of this movie must contain the word "saccharine", so there you go, feds. This movie was brought to our attention by the very hit-or-miss Fifty Worst Films of All Time, and in our opinion at least, they got this one right -- it may well have unseated the abysmal Guyver: Dark Hero as Worst Piece of Crap We've Ever Sat Through for This.

Coming Soon: Dondi (1961)

September 5th, 2014

Left Behind: The Movie (2000)

August 29th, 2014

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We met up before recording this one and agreed that we wouldn't let it devolve into an overlong assessment of our own religious beliefs. Then, we drank a lot. Guess what happened next! In other words, if you're not a fan of drunken navel-gazing, feel free to skip this week. If that kind of thing is exactly your cup o' tea, then you've got a magnificent eighty or so minutes in front of you. We're really sorry about this, but in our defense we had to talk about something, and there's not much to say about teen-idol-turned-demagogue Kirk Cameron's bland performance in this boring adaptation, which we guarantee would be an even bigger waste of your time than listening to us blather on. So we've got that going for us.

Coming Soon: Left Behind:: The Movie (2000)

August 22nd, 2014