Coming Soon: Lady in the Lake (1947)

May 16th, 2014

F for Fake (1973)

May 9th, 2014

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Yeah, that's right, we're cheaters: not every movie we watch is bad. Some are downright excellent, but obscure enough to be overlooked by even people who like excellent movies. We like to keep one wonderful movie on the List of Doom, just to keep it interesting, and F For Fake has held that position since Search for Schlock began. Now, at last, we get to watch one of Orson Welles's last great works [in which he is sober]. This one is a documentary about frauds -- a forger who makes tens of thousands of dollars for paintings that take minutes to produce; the forger's even-more-infamous biographer, who wrote Howard Hughes's "autobiography" without his knowledge or input; and Welles himself, a self-styled magician who tells lies for a living. This is a good one, people; get your hands on a copy and watch it before we spoil the ending for you. In sum: Ah, the French!

Coming Soon: F for Fake (1973)

May 2nd, 2014

Leonard Part 6 (1987)

April 25th, 2014

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Leonard Part 6 holds a prominent position in the pantheon of famous flops, proudly stationed next to Superman IV and The Garbage Pail Kids in the 1987 section of our favorite Wikipedia page, List of Films Considered the Worst. Like its spiritual cousins Ishtar (also from 1987) and Heaven's Gate, Leonard's reputation preceded it, with even the film's star and producer, comedy superstar Bill Cosby at the height of his fame, warning the public to stay away from theaters. Critics were appalled; Roger Ebert specifically called out the film's blatant product placement, which is such an adorable thing for him to have been angry about in the mid-1980s. But is there a chance that -- again, like Ishtar and Heaven's Gate -- this movie might not be as bad as its reputation would tend to suggest? Might we actually enjoy a film in which Bill Cosby rides an ostrich off the roof of an exploding building? The answer will shock you.

Coming Soon: Leonard Part 6 (1987)

April 18th, 2014

Electric Dreams (1984)

April 11th, 2014

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Inspired by the recent success of Oscar-nominated Her?, we're looking back at an era when filmmakers really did not know how computers worked. In this case, a fairly average-looking PC is capable, right out of the box, of controlling nearly every device in your apartment, including the locks, coffee maker, blender, and electric toothbrush -- and that's before it develops sentience when nebbishy architect Miles spills champagne on it. The nascent intelligence also falls in love with Miles's neighbor/sort-of-girlfriend Virginia Madsen from Dune, and writes her a song that sounds suspiciously like a Culture Club B-side. And that's about all the plot you can squeeze in when your movie is wall-to-wall music video montages.

Coming Soon: Electric Dreams (1984)

April 4th, 2014

Women In Cages (1971)

March 28th, 2014

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At long last, Andrew and Chris delve into the murky waters of the Women in Prison film, a subgenre of exploitation cinema that centers on a concept we like to call "incarcerated ladies." Intrigued? Then you're a disgusting pig. But also, you might want to start with Women in Cages, which we think is an excellent introduction to the genre. For one thing, it's brought to you in part by schlock legend Roger Corman, so the laughs are guaranteed. Furthermore, it prominently features blaxploitation icon Pam Grier in an early role. And that's it. That's all the things. But if that's not enough for you, who cares? It's not like you'll ever get a real woman to spend time with you, pervert. You may as well just watch the movie. (You make us sick.)

Coming Soon: Women In Cages (1971)

March 21st, 2014

The Conqueror (1956)

March 14th, 2014

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According to Hollywood legend, The Conqueror got made when John Wayne picked up a copy of the script from director Dick Powell's desk and remarked that it was a lot like a Western. The fact that it was the story of famous Mongol leader Genghis Khan -- to whom Wayne did not bare a striking resemblance -- was overlooked, as was the fact that the screenplay itself was crap, because who can say 'no' to John Wayne in the mid-1950s? Wayne, with a slight tan and a borderline-offensive pasted-on fu manchu moustache, is still basically John Wayne, and that makes him about as out-of-place as possible in a sprawling Oriental epic like this one. (Imagine him as Hamlet, and you'll get the idea.) Besides damaging their careers, filming The Conqueror may have led to the cast and crew's unusually high rate of deadly cancers, and it's one of the few films that producer Howard Hughes watched on a continuous loop while bottling his own urine, perhaps as some sort of cinematic form of self-flagellation. Since we didn't produce this movie, we only have to watch it once.