Coming Soon: Battle Beyond the Stars (1980)

June 27th, 2014

Brain Smasher...A Love Story (1993)

June 20th, 2014

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This may be one of the more obscure movies we've watched for the podcast -- I'm not sure, because obscurity is hard to measure -- but there are three reasons why we felt we had to see it. First of all, it stars human regret Andrew Dice Clay, who we loathed in The Adventures of Ford Fairlane. Secondly, the antagonist is played by none other than Seattle restauranteur The Bad Guy From Karate Kid Part II, who we reluctantly enjoyed in Aloha Summer (and who proudly displays a Brain Smasher poster in his fine establishment). Thirdly but perhaps mostly, it's a film written and directed by notorious schlockmeister Albert Pyun, into whose oeuvre we have had yet to delve. We'll be seeing a lot more of Mr. Pyun's work in the near future, so pay close attention, cinema enthusiasts.

Coming Soon: Brain Smasher...A Love Story (1993)

June 13th, 2014

9 1/2 Ninjas! (1991)

June 6th, 2014

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This one found its way onto our list on the basis of its name alone (and we didn't even know about the exclamation point!). Basically, someone had the idea to shoot a parody of then-five-year-old erotic drama 9 1/2 Weeks that is also about ninjas, and that person was given money to make this happen. If that doesn't grab you, take a look at the filmography of romantic lead Andee Gray. What's that uncredited role in RoboCop, you ask? She was in one of the "I'd Buy That For A Dollar" TV segments (you know, the one Emil is watching through a store window while violence erupts in the streets because the cops are on strike in the third act). That's it, sold. Done. I will watch any movie that features any actor from the "I'd Buy That For A Dollar" segments from RoboCop, PERIOD.

Coming Soon: 9 1/2 Ninjas (1991)

May 30th, 2014

Lady in the Lake (1947)

May 23rd, 2014

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In this little-remembered but unusual first-person POV Philip Marlowe adaptation, you are the star! You'll find the evidence, you'll piece together the clues, and you'll slap all those broads in their stupid faces! But there are some problems. For one thing, you're not a particularly likeable character. You're a jerk to basically everyone. You speak in a bit of a monotone, and since you can't see your own face, it's hard to tell how you feel about any given situation. Sometimes you just stand around looking at boring things, like when you're on the phone and you just stare at a wall for a minute. So in conclusion, you're an emotionless, boring asshole. And you're the star!

Coming Soon: Lady in the Lake (1947)

May 16th, 2014

F for Fake (1973)

May 9th, 2014

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Yeah, that's right, we're cheaters: not every movie we watch is bad. Some are downright excellent, but obscure enough to be overlooked by even people who like excellent movies. We like to keep one wonderful movie on the List of Doom, just to keep it interesting, and F For Fake has held that position since Search for Schlock began. Now, at last, we get to watch one of Orson Welles's last great works [in which he is sober]. This one is a documentary about frauds -- a forger who makes tens of thousands of dollars for paintings that take minutes to produce; the forger's even-more-infamous biographer, who wrote Howard Hughes's "autobiography" without his knowledge or input; and Welles himself, a self-styled magician who tells lies for a living. This is a good one, people; get your hands on a copy and watch it before we spoil the ending for you. In sum: Ah, the French!

Coming Soon: F for Fake (1973)

May 2nd, 2014

Leonard Part 6 (1987)

April 25th, 2014

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Leonard Part 6 holds a prominent position in the pantheon of famous flops, proudly stationed next to Superman IV and The Garbage Pail Kids in the 1987 section of our favorite Wikipedia page, List of Films Considered the Worst. Like its spiritual cousins Ishtar (also from 1987) and Heaven's Gate, Leonard's reputation preceded it, with even the film's star and producer, comedy superstar Bill Cosby at the height of his fame, warning the public to stay away from theaters. Critics were appalled; Roger Ebert specifically called out the film's blatant product placement, which is such an adorable thing for him to have been angry about in the mid-1980s. But is there a chance that -- again, like Ishtar and Heaven's Gate -- this movie might not be as bad as its reputation would tend to suggest? Might we actually enjoy a film in which Bill Cosby rides an ostrich off the roof of an exploding building? The answer will shock you.