On Deadly Ground (1994)

July 20th, 2012

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PLOT SYNPOSIS: Big Oil employee Forrest Taft (Steven Seagal) discovers that his boss, Michael Jennings (Michael Caine) is deliberately constructing faulty oil rigs in Alaska to beat a deadline. Left for dead in a trap set by Jennings's hatchet-man MacGruder (John C. McGinley), Taft is revived by eskimos and embarks on a spiritual quest to stop Jennings once and for all.

FAMOUS FOR: Seagal's big film-closing, action-genre-defiant environmentalist speech, which (according to IMDB) originally ran a staggering 11 minutes, but was subsequently edited and now only feels that long. Also, this film attained the coveted Rotten Tomatoes perfect score of 0% fresh.

PREPARE YOURSELF FOR: Some of the most conspicuous hyperboles ever used to describe an action hero, especially one whose day job involves preventing oil spills. It turns out he's also the kind of guy who drinks a gallon of gasoline so he can piss on your campfire. He's far worse than the ultimate nightmare in the "deepest bowels of your soul". And he's the "patron saint of the impossible."

Under the Cherry Moon (1986)

July 6th, 2012

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PLOT SYNPOSIS: Parisian gigolo Christopher Tracy (Prince) falls for wealthy debutante Mary (Kristen Scott Thomas in her debut role), but their incompatible social strata threaten to tear them apart.

FAMOUS FOR: The hit song "Kiss," and pretty much nothing else. Even though its level of camp has to be seen to be believed, Under the Cherry Moon has been largely forgotten over the years, even by rabid Prince fans, perhaps because it's not as infamously atrocious as Prince's next disaster, Graffiti Bridge.

PREPARE YOURSELF FOR: Truly disturbing kissing scenes, with tongues slipping out all over the place. Also, Jerome Benton's inexplicably Oscar-snubbed performance near the end.

For our premiere podcast, we welcome special guest Sally, or as he apparently prefers to beĀ  called, "Jonathan." Sally composed our theme music, which sounds sort of like, but is legally not the same as, the theme from Buckaroo Banzai. And that's exactly what we asked for. So he's a pretty great musician by our standards.