Theodore Rex (1995)

September 9th, 2016

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This may be the worst thing we have ever had to watch ... period.

Now I know I've said that before but hear me out. Whoopi Goldberg in a futuristic buddy cop comedy/action film with a six foot walking, talking, rubber dinosaur ... *drops mic*

Seriously though I'm not sure what else to say. Theodore Rex is a horrendously bad film and we'll discuss why it was even made long before we watch it and weep ... weep openly like children who wonder why god hates them. Although in my case the word watch is loosely translated into trying not to fall asleep between bouts of anger.

Anyway James went to Japan!! Hear all about it on this weeks webipod ... to Andrews chagrin.

Coming Soon: Theodore Rex (1995)

September 5th, 2016

Hawk the Slayer (1980)

August 26th, 2016

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Once upon a time a young Mark sat transfixed in front of his television watching a film that would change his life. A film that spoke to his inner needs. His inner obsessive role play game loving nerdy needs. Finally a film that took the character archetypes and settings of Dungeons & Dragons seriously. A film he could watch with his fellow LARP weirdo friends and breath a collective sigh of relief. Hollywood was finally speaking to them.

Ok so it's likely none of that actually happened but its a nice story. Otherwise I'm left with the thought that Mark had vague memories of a bad sword and sorcery type film with a then washed up Jack Palance. Then forced said film on us for pure malicious joy. And I for one refuse to believe he would do such a thing!

I give you this weeks webipod ... Hawk the Slayer ... not Ladyhawke ... *SCREECH*

Coming Soon: Hawk the Slayer (1980)

August 20th, 2016

Back in Action (1993)

August 12th, 2016

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I suppose I could summarize this film with a few well placed machine gun sounds as I ask you to imagine muscles on top of muscles. Or perhaps ask you to imagine every late 80's early 90's action trope being karate kicked into an exploding car. Or perhaps I could ask you to imagine a sort of martial arts meets wrestling meets bad tracking on a VHS tape collage of films. The kind you would see on TNT's Sunday afternoon flick-fest.

But I won't do any of that. That would ask you to do a lot of thinking ... and as Andrew put it so succinctly in a moment of this weeks webipod ... "Thinking isn't something that you do when you're watching Back in Action"

Rowdy Roddy Piper and Billy Blanks team up to explode shoot and kick their way through a drug cartel to save a sister or something who cares *EXPLOSION SOUND*

Don't think just listen.

Coming Soon: Back in Action (1993)

August 6th, 2016

Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970)

July 29th, 2016

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This week we watch a bad movie classic! One that neither me or Andrew had laid witness to before. We came away feeling titillated, confused and violated. As any good Russ Meyer films should.

Beyond the Valley of the Dolls takes us ... beyond ... the usual exploitation film of its era. Its a little bit satire. A little bit blaxploitation. A LOT sexploitation ... and in the end a sort of gender confused horror film. Written by my boy Roger Ebert (pours one out for my homie) in what I can only assume was a drunken sexually frustrated stupor. We'll see what happens when a filmmaker hell bent on shocking even his counter culture brethren, cashes in on some then recent Hollywood murders ... to just all around make you feel icky.

Also boobs ... so many boobs.

*sings* Incense and peppermints blah blah blah blah ...

Coming Soon: Beyond the Valley of the Dolls (1970)

July 22nd, 2016

Harakiri (1962)

July 15th, 2016

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This is one of those rare occasions where I knew I would end up liking this episode long before we recorded it. Though I suppose this time that was the point. Today we watch a legitimately good film ... a foriiegn film ... in another language ... with subtitles ... wait come back.

A film about the meaning of life, death and honor. A film about sorrow. A film about a bad ass samurai taking his sweet revenge!! Today we watch Masaki Kobayashi's masterpiece Harakiri.

... apologies in advance faithful podcast listeners. There will be no joyful amusement at our expense this episode. Don't worry though ... I'm sure we'll watch a piece of shit next time.

Coming Soon: Harakiri (1962)

July 8th, 2016